


X- The Reason

by padalelli



Category: Supernatural, X Ambassadors - Fandom
Genre: AU where Sam leaves after 9.10, F/M, Fluff, Free & Lonely, Love Songs Drug Songs, Possible Eventual Smut, Stranger - Freeform, The Business, X Ambassadors, based off of X Ambassadors songs, brother, gadreel - Freeform, the reason
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-02 18:03:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2821298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padalelli/pseuds/padalelli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Fall, Sam is in critical condition. Dean does something he knows Sam probably wouldn't approve of, but he does it for the sake of saving his brother. But what will be the consequences of his actions?</p><p>In the 3rd chapter an AU is introduced and soon Sam meets the reader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Brother

**Author's Note:**

> The first two chapters are basically summaries of 9.01 and 9.10, and then the third chapter is where it really starts into the fanfiction. Sorry the chapters are kind of short.

Dean looked down at his brother in the hospital bed. Sam had been unconscious for days, weeks. As far as Dean knew, Sam was close to death. Dean kicked himself for not getting to Sam sooner. As the trials had progressed, Sam had become less and less caring of his own life, much like Dean. And now look where Sam was. Near death in a hospital bed. Dean would never forgive himself if Sam died. Hell, Sam has died before and Dean still hasn't forgiven himself for those times. And Dean refused to let Sam die now. He suddenly left the hospital room, for the first time in days, and went out to the parking garage. "This one goes out to any angel with their ears on."  
*//*  
"Sam, I have a plan! It's a plan and you're going to have to trust me on it!" Dean yelled as Death stood by silently.  
"I don't want you here, Dean! It's over! I don't want to fight anymore!" Sam replied, ready to leave with Death.   
"There's a way for you to stay alive. Please just trust me," Dean pleaded. "There ain't no me if there ain't no you, Sam."  
Sam glanced back and forth between Dean and the horseman. "What do I have to do?" he whispered.   
"Say yes," Dean said.   
Death disappeared. "Yes," Sam said. "Yes," he said again more urgently.  
*//*  
"So when do we tell Sam?" Dean asked Ezekiel as he walked with the vessel.  
"We do not," Ezekiel replied.   
"What? This is... big, Zeke. I have to tell him."  
"If Sam knows about me, he can eject me at any time. And if he ejects me, Dean, he will die."  
"Then I guess we don't tell him until he's strong enough to walk around by himself," Dean said regrettably.  
*//*  
"Where are we?" Sam asked when he woke up in the Impala, in his usual spot in the front seat next to Dean.  
"Woah, hey, you okay?" Dean asked.  
"I'm tired, but yeah, I'm fine. I feel like I slept for a week," Sam said.  
"More like a day," Dean said.  
"You've been driving for a day?" Sam asked.  
"I made stops," Dean told him. "What all do you remember?" he asked.  
"I remember the angels falling, and that's it," Sam said.  
Dean looked at his brother with eyes that said everything you could possibly imagine was running through his mind. _Hey, it worked. Ezekiel must be doing okay. I'm sorry I had to do this to you Sam. I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner so I wouldn't have had to do this. I'm glad you aren't dead. I need you to keep fighting. I hope you don't get mad at me when you find out what I had to do to keep you alive. I'll never let you go. Even when the madness has broken you apart._


	2. Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After handling Gadreel, Sam and Dean talk about what happened. Once Sam tells Dean to leave, he reveals to Cas how he feels about what Dean did.

"What do you want me to say? That I'm mad? That I'm pissed?" Sam asked his brother as they stood there on the bridge in the rain.  
"I just want you to say something," Dean said.   
Sam nodded. "Okay. I am pissed. You let an angel possess me, Dean," Sam began to raise his voice.  
"It was the only way to save you," Dean defended himself.  
"I was ready to die, Dean!" Sam finally said.   
"I know," Dean said. "But if you think that I could just let you-" Dean couldn't finish his sentence.   
"Just go." Sam said after a few moments. Castiel stood several feet away, and although he claimed to share a more profound bond with Dean, he could not bring himself to defend Dean's actions. Castiel agreed with Sam. So the two of them watched Dean get in the Impala and drive away.   
"Dean may not have handled it the best way... but he handled it the best way he could," Castiel said. "He tried, Sam."  
"I know he tried. But he lied to me. I was ready to die. He wasn't. I shouldn't have to suffer the nightmares I do just because he was too afraid of being alone," Sam told Castiel.  
"Think of the things you did for him after he went to Hell. You don't think he was pissed at you for that?" Castiel asked.  
"I know he was pissed at me for it but I also know he would've done the exact same thing had the roles been reversed. But I wouldn't have done the same thing he did this time."  
"You wouldn't have tried to save Dean?" Castiel asked.  
"I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I wouldn't have done it the same way," Sam said.   
"What would you have done?"  
Sam sighed. "I don't know, Cas. But if Dean wanted to die... And if I knew that... I might've respected it. I sure as hell wouldn't have tricked him into letting an angel possess him."  
"You would've had to live with that on your shoulders for the rest of your life, Sam."  
"I know. Listen, Cas. I would go to the ends of the Earth for my brother. But I would never lie to him to get him to do something he didn't want to do. There are many things I would do for Dean, but not that. I would never do that," Sam said. "Yes, if he were dying like I was, I would try everything I could to save him. But I wouldn't let a smite-happy angel possess him and then get a demon to clean up the mess. Especially not if he wanted to die so that he could keep people from getting hurt."  
"Sam, I may not agree with what Dean did, but I certainly don't agree with you either. You were the one who always told Dean that you don't get to give up in your family. That holds true for you too, Sam. You don't get to give up either. If you're going to hold Dean to a double standard then maybe what happened was for the best," Castiel said. Then he trudged over to his Lincoln and drove away, leaving Sam to himself.  
Sam shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned up against the railing of the bridge. _He waited until the end of the trials to ask what it was doing to me. All that time I was wasting away. Getting worse with every passing day of the trials. And he was just... trying to find the elusive Castiel. Is he even sorry? My dying would not have been the end of the world. In fact, it would have been the opposite. I could've closed the gates of Hell if he had just let me. But now he can't even say anything to me. Nothing I'll let him. It's like he doesn't even know me anymore. Like we're strangers. Maybe we are strangers._


	3. The Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has some news for Dean, and he knows Dean won't like it.

Sam would've called Dean up to tell him if he didn't know Dean would try to stop him. But Sam knew that once he told Dean what he was doing, Dean would try to convince him not to. So he got a cab ride back to the general vicinity of the bunker and walked the rest of the way there. When he went inside and walked into the library, Dean looked up from the book he was scanning and the glass of whiskey he was drinking. "Sammy," Dean whispered, shocked. He quickly stood up and walked over to Sam and hugged him. "I thought you wouldn't come back," Dean said. When Sam didn't return Dean's embrace, Dean let go and backed away. "What's wrong, Sammy?" he asked his brother.   
"That's the thing, Dean. I'm leaving. After this, I'm not coming back," Sam told him.  
"What?" Dean asked, his voice barely above a whisper.   
"You asked me what's wrong. Do you wanna know what's wrong, Dean?" Sam began to raise his voice. "Every time I close my eyes, I see myself killing Kevin! Do you know what that's like? To see yourself doing something you couldn't control? You don't. And I can't live with myself if I have to keep seeing that!" Dean began to say something, but then he decided against it. "I don't think staying here is helping me." Sam held is arms out momentarily. "So I'm leaving."  
"Okay. That's fine. Just keep your phone on, okay?" Dean asked. "Keep me updated on where you're staying and let me know if you find any cases you think we should check out. I'll pick you up wherever it is and we can-"   
"Dean, that's not what I'm saying," Sam interrupted.  
"Then what are you saying?" Dean asked.   
"I'm not just leaving the bunker, Dean. I'm leaving all of this." Dean's face still showed confusion. Sam sighed, half laughingly. "I don't want to hunt anymore, Dean. I don't want to be in the family business when the only family I have left anymore lies to me the way you did." Sam's voice was tired. About as tired as Sam was of Dean.   
"Sam, don't do this. You know I only did what I did so I could save your life," Dean said through his teeth.   
"Yeah and I didn't want to live this life. If I'm going to be alive because of you, I don't want that life to be spent hunting. And trying to take control of things I have no control over," Sam said.  
"We do have control, we've been doing this for eight years, Sam! Saving people!" Dean's tone became pleading.   
"And guess what Dean, I was out eight years ago until you dragged me back into it. If you really love me as much as you say you do, if you really saved me for the reasons you say you did, then you'll let me go live an apple pie life right now. You'll let me take the life you gave me and actually live it," Sam said.  
"Sam, don't do this," Dean begged. He wore the same eyes he did when he said, 'There ain't no me if there ain't no you.'  
"I'm gonna give up the business, Dean. Whether you want me to or not," Sam said.   
Dean gave him a look of acceptance. "Okay, but don't go all silent on me, you hear? You have to keep in touch. At least a little, okay?" Dean said. "That's all I'm asking, Sammy. Is that you talk to me. Okay?"  
Sam nodded once. "I'm not making any promises, Dean," he said. "I'm giving up the business."


	4. Free & Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam settles down in a town away from Kansas and discovers how bad he is at being alone.

The words rang in Dean's head. _I'm giving up the business._ Sam was in his room, packing everything up. Even his hunting gear. He knew that just because he gave up the business didn't mean the business would give him up. It was more of a precautionary measure than anything.   
So Sam packed up his things, went to the garage, picked a car, and drove off, heading East. He had quit the life about half a dozen times now, getting on his feet would be no problem by now. He secured a virtually non-paying job as an assistant for a social worker in Memphis, clearing up small legal disputes with the clients. The agency was desperate, small, and accepted Sam's history from Stanford as qualification to do the job. He lived in a motel off of cash he had saved until he had enough money to rent an apartment.  
The eight and a half weeks at the motel had been lonely, and he barely had much human interaction at the agency, short phone calls with clients being the only exception. After he moved into the apartment, it wasn't much different. The most talking he did at one time was when he was in the elevator with the old woman from the floor above his, saying she knew the perfect girl for him. He always gave her a fake smile and stood in silence until the elevator reached his floor. When he got home, his mind would manage to drift to hunting, or Dean, or Kevin, or Cas. And he would always shake away the thoughts.  
On weekends he would take late morning jogs, people occasionally gawking at his impressive stature as he passed them. But there was one girl he noticed every once in a while, a girl walking her dog. The girl always seemed to be hyper aware of everything but him. And it almost seemed like she avoided his gaze- he never received any indication that she even knew he existed, but he could swear she was the one making sure of that. She just intrigued him. One day, she was so unaware of him (her focus on her dog) that she bumped right into him as they were passing each other. "Oh my goodness, I am so sorry," the girl apologized, readjusting her grip on her dog's leash.   
"Hey, no worries," Sam replied. "That was on me, I should've gotten out of your way." The girl snickered. "Hey, I've seen you out here before, walking your dog. Do you live in this neighborhood?" Sam asked.  
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say that," she replied.  
"You guess?" Sam asked, chuckling.   
"Well, I mean, I live downtown so I kind of make a trip to this safe neighborhood so I can walk my dog."  
"So that's why I only see you every couple of weeks," Sam said.  
The girl shrugged. "Okay, well," she huffed. "I better get going before I cause any more damage."  
"Wait," Sam said. "What's your name?"  
"Y/N," she told him with a small smile.   
"Well, Y/N, I don't think you should come all the way out here just so you can walk your dog alone. How 'bout I walk with you guys?" Sam proposed.   
Y/N chuckled. "I don't even know your name."  
"Sam. My name is Sam."  
Y/N laughed and cocked her head. "My dog's name is Sam. But she's Samantha."  
"Oh, really?" Sam asked. "How'd you come about that name?"  
"Are you kidding me, Sam is Will Smith's badass dog in I Am Legend. She's a German Shepard, I figured it was appropriate," Y/N shrugged.  
Sam looked down at the dog and chuckled. "So can I walk with you?" he asked when he looked back up.   
Y/N smiled. "Sure. I'd like that."


	5. Giants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam meets the reader and ends up opening up to her about almost everything. They find comfort in each other.

“Well, this is the end of my route,” you told Sam.  
“Hopefully I’ll see you again?” Sam asked.  
“Maybe,” you said with a smile.  
Sam raised his eyebrows and laugh. “Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be,” he said. “Well, when’s the next time I’ll see you walking your dog down here?”  
You gave him a once over. “Next Saturday. Same time of day. This is where I start and end my walks,” you told him.  
“I’ll be waiting,” Sam said.  
You smiled at him. “Well, thank you for walking with us. I’m gonna head home now.” You opened the passenger door for Samantha to get in and then closed the door behind her before getting into the driver’s seat. As you drove back home, you smiled to yourself.  
*//*  
Sam tried to contain himself as Y/N drove away. He jogged back to his apartment wearing a dazed grin and when he got in the elevator, the old woman from the floor above him could read him like a book. “You seem very happy today,” she said.  
Sam snickered and glanced down at her. “Yeah, I, uh, met a girl. So you can stop trying to play matchmaker with me,” he said playfully.  
“You mean to tell me a girl was willing to talk to this sweaty mess?” the woman replied.  
“Exactly.” Sam got off the elevator at his floor and took a shower when he got back into his apartment.  
*//*  
When Sam went to the parking lot that Saturday morning, he waited for Y/N for an hour, but she never came. He told himself that he probably got out too late and had missed her, so he went back home, skipping his jog that day. The Saturday after that, he figured he’d try again. Still no sign of her. He decided not to get too down about it, something might’ve come up in her schedule that prevented her from taking her Saturday morning walks. As Sam was jogging home, he caught a glimpse of Y/N. She was walking her dog, but she didn’t seem as full of energy as all the other times he’d seen her. He jogged over to her. “Hey, Y/N, haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks,” he said.  
“Oh, yeah. Look, I’m really sorry about that. I would’ve told you I wasn’t coming if I’d had any way to contact you, but I didn’t,” you told him, your voice dull.  
“Why couldn’t you come? Did something come up?” he asked, growing concerned.  
“You could say that,” you said quietly.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Sam-” your dog barked. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’ll be seeing me anymore,” you admitted.  
“Why not?” Sam didn’t wait for a response. “Here, why don’t we go get some brunch or whatever if you don’t like brunch.”  
You sighed, your shoulders relaxing. “I don’t know where I’m gonna put Samantha.”  
“Then you can both come back to my apartment and I’ll make you something to eat. And you can tell me about yourself,” he offered.  
“I don’t know, Sam. It sounds serious,” you said teasingly.  
“It doesn’t have to be.”  
When you got back to Sam’s apartment building, you walked up the stairs together, Samantha trailing behind. “You live here?” you asked.  
“Yeah, why?”  
“My grandmother lives here. I never really see her, though, not until recently anyways,” you told him.  
“Wait a second, lemme guess, apartment 506?” he asked.  
“Yeah, how did you-?”  
“I’m in apartment 406. I see her in the elevator almost every day. She always tells me about how she knows the perfect girl for me,” he told you.  
You chuckled. “Funny, whenever I’d come visit her she’d tell me I should visit her more often. Said there were ‘plenty of cute ones’ in the building.”  
Sam laughed to himself, shaking his head. “So why don’t you really see your grandmother?” Sam asked.  
“Oh, well, she’s my mom’s mom. But my mom died in labor with me, so I lived with my dad. And me and my dad, we’d move around a lot, you know? He was a brand new single dad, he didn’t have anyone to help him out, he couldn’t hold down a good job to support the both of us for very long. So we’d just kind of hop around wherever he could find a job. Then I turned eighteen, went off on my own, and I guess I just ended up here. And since my grandmother was here too, I started visiting her more often,” you told Sam, shrugging.  
“I’m sorry,” Sam said sympathetically.  
“No, don’t be. Seriously, I’m very happy now. Where I am, my life. I’m okay,” you told him. “What about you? What led you here?” you asked.  
“Um, kind of the same thing, actually. My mom died when I was six months old, my dad took me and my brother around the country after that. Said he thought it’d be good for us. My brother, Dean, he was okay with it, loved it, actually… But I hated always moving to a new town, a new school, being the new kid. So when I turned eighteen I packed my bags and left for Stanford. A few years later, Dean came and picked me up, said he thought dad was missing. So we got back on the road. Dad died about a year later, so I just kind of stuck around with Dean. But a few months ago, he… he just broke the last straw. And I couldn’t really be around him, you know? I guess I kind of ended up here, too,” Sam explained.  
You hadn’t really been paying attention to anything but Sam, and so you didn’t notice when you were inside his apartment. You sat down on the couch and took Samantha’s leash off. She laid down on the floor by your feet, resting her head on her paws. “Wow, Sam. I’m sorry,” you said.  
“Don’t be,” he said, winking and sitting by you. “So what’s been going on the past two weeks, why haven’t I seen you?”  
“Oh, um… well, I lost my job. I was working a job that they just kept piling more work onto me, and I went from nine hour workdays to sixteen hour workdays with no raise. It just, it became a job that really required two people. But the company decided that rather than hiring someone to help me, I needed to be fired. So they got rid of me. I spent the next week searching for another job, going to interviews- that’s why you didn’t see me last Saturday. And no one will hire me because my old boss was an absolute dick. He told all my potential employers that I was incompetent, things like that. And now it’s been two weeks and I’m about to get evicted from my apartment because I was already having trouble paying the rent. So basically everything that could have possibly been taken away from me has been. I’m _hanging by a thread_ and I just don’t know what to do,” you admitted, trying to hold back tears.  
Sam rubbed your back. “I know I only met you a couple of weeks ago, but I’ve got a couch. You and Samantha are free to stay here. Like you said, it’s safer than downtown. You won’t have to go out of your way to walk your dog. Your grandmother’s here, you could take care of her. I’ll gladly try to help you find another job, I mean… I don’t mind helping you out. _Move mountains one at a time_ ,” he said.  
You looked down at the floor and shook your head. “Look, Sam, I appreciate it… but I’ve got a lot of baggage that _you’d have to be a giant to lift_. I don’t want to burden you with that,” you said.  
“Trust me, Y/N, whatever it is, I’ve had worse. And I’m not taking no for an answer, not till you’re back on your feet.”  
After arguing about it with him for the rest of the day, you finally accepted Sam’s offer. He took you to your apartment to clean out the essentials and you moved in with him, sleeping on his futon.


	6. Overexposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and the reader learn all there is to learn about each other.

You’ve been living with Sam for a month now, and you were still in search of a job. You felt bad. Sam barely made enough money from his job assisting the social worker, and now there were two occupants in the apartment. You felt like you were mooching, having not been able to contribute anything. You’d been taking care of your grandmother, and in return she would give you money for groceries, so that way you could at least feed yourself and Samantha. You tried to make dinner for Sam whenever you could.   
You were actually about to start making dinner when Sam got home from work. “Hey, what are you doing?” he asked as soon as he walked through the door, hanging his coat on the hooks by the door and placing his document bag on the table.   
“Oh, I was just about to make some dinner. Thought you might be hungry,” you told him.   
He came over to you, stopping about a foot away from you. “Actually, I figured maybe we could go out to eat,” he said nervously.   
“No, that’s okay, you don’t have to-”  
Sam knew where you were going with that thought and didn’t hesitate to interrupt you. “I want to. I’d like to take you out…”  
You squinted your eyes momentarily and just barely tilted your head. “Wait, like… like on a date?” Sam nodded curtly. “Sam, I’m not really the dating type…” you admitted.   
Sam looked down in embarrassment, suddenly very flustered. “No, that’s fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make things awkward… I… nevermind, it was stupid I guess,” he rambled.   
You stepped forward and lifted his head, forcing him to look at you. “You didn’t let me finish, giant,” you said, your lip curling up into a half-smile. “I’m not really the dating type, but I’ll gladly be in a relationship with you… I mean, if that’s what you want.” Sam smiled and leaned down to kiss you- or rather, in an attempt to kiss you. You bumped foreheads. Sam grunted in pain, but laughed at the same time. You giggled as well. “How about we just stay in for dinner and watch a movie?” you suggested, stepping away from him. “I’m a cuddler,” you added.   
“I can live with that,” he said.   
“Alright, go put some comfortable clothes on,” you shooed him. You went back over to the pantry, grabbing some supplies for dinner.   
*//*  
It’s been three months now since you started living with Sam, and two since your relationship began. You had just finished eating dinner and now you were both seated on the floor of the living area, looking across the coffee table at each other over your game of cribbage. “How do you do that?!” Sam exclaimed, frustrated. “That was my crib and you _still_ got more points than me!” You giggled and shrugged, giving him a playful smile. Then the look in his eyes went from adoring to guilty, and you wondered what was wrong. “Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you… and I don’t think you’re going to like it. I just wanna be a hundred percent honest with you,” he began.   
“Okay… what is it?” you asked suspiciously.   
“After my dad died… and I stayed with my brother… we uh, we killed things for a living.” When your mouth fell partially open he held up a hand and continued, wanting to explain. “Not people; we didn’t kill people. We… we killed monsters. Like, uh… like vampires and werewolves and shapeshifters.”  
“Demons?” you asked, adding to the list.   
“Look, I know it sounds crazy- wait, what did you just ask me?” Sam responded, a little dumbfounded.   
You glanced to the side then looked back at Sam. “I asked if you hunted demons, too. But I mean, I think I already know the answer.” Sam raised his eyebrows. “I, uh… I kind of had my suspicions that you were a hunter,” you admitted.   
“Wait, wait, you know about hunters?” Sam asked.   
You nodded. “More than that, I used to be one too,” you told him, biting your lip. You hoped this wouldn’t screw anything up. “When you first told me your backstory, that was one red flag. But what really gave it away was the Devil’s Trap underneath the carpet we’re sitting on… and the big containers of rock salt under the sink… and the locked box on the table by the door which I’m guessing has silver bullets or something of the like… and the cross underneath the silverware organizer in the drawer next to the fridge which I’m guessing you use to make holy water… and your oddly shaped duffel under the bed which I’m guessing has the rest of your weapons in it…” Sam gawked at you in disbelief. “You’re not very good at letting hunting go, are you?” you asked.   
“When were you going to tell me you knew I was a hunter?” Sam asked.   
“I wanted to see how long it took you to tell me,” you countered. “Honestly, I thought it would take a lot longer than two months. I was thinking maybe like a year. I did consider, though, just asking you about it. Just to see what you did. But I thought that might be kind of mean. I thought the only fair thing was to tell you the whole truth about myself when you told me the whole truth about yourself.”  
“So this whole time you’ve been living here, you’ve known?” Sam asked.   
You shrugged guiltily. “Yeah?”  
You were expecting Sam to be angry, furious. You half-expected him to kick you out of his apartment. But instead he just started laughing. “Leave it to me to fall in love with another former hunter,” he said, mostly to himself.   
“I can’t tell if that’s an insult…” you said.   
Sam stood up and walked around the table to you, holding out his hand to help you up. “It’s the opposite of an insult.”  
*//*   
After that, Sam told you his story, from start to end, summing it up the best he could without giving you too much detail. “I guess it’s my turn, huh?” you said once he was finished.   
“Not if you don’t want to talk about it,” he told you.   
“No, no. You told me everything, you deserve the same from me.” You sighed, telling yourself to keep it together in advance. “So what I told you about my mom dying in labor with me, that was true. Obviously, the rest wasn’t. My father and I, when I was still a baby, we were attacked by some kind of monster. He never told me what it was. But after that, he decided to become a hunter. Without my mom, we was really lost, you know, wasn’t quite sure what else to do. He felt like hunting gave him a purpose. So that’s what he did. Sent me to grandma’s until I was about five. Then he started taking smaller hunts, started sending other hunters to take care of hunts, stuff like that. Then when I was about thirteen, I started helping him with hunts.” You took a break from your story, emotionally preparing yourself for the next part. “And when I was eighteen… my dad got killed. He was trying to save someone from a crossroads deal… he ended up getting torn apart by Hellhounds.” Your eyes began to water and you looked down, hiding behind your hair.   
Sam put his hand on your back, rubbing small circles. “It’s not your fault, Y/N,” he said gently.   
“But it is. It’s my fault they went after him. _I_ was supposed to bring the hounds away.” You sniffed. “So that they wouldn’t attack anyone.” You looked back up at Sam. “I was running somewhere I thought was safe, somewhere I thought was empty of people.” You couldn’t hold back the instinct to cry anymore, and it all came out with the rest of your story. “But my dad thought the same thing, he thought it was safe, so that’s where he took everyone. When I saw him there, he sacrificed himself to the hounds… They still went after the person who sold their soul… And almost everyone else died in the crossfire… And it’s all my fault.” Sobs wracked your body and all Sam could do was pull you into his warm embrace.   
“Shhh, it’s okay,” Sam murmured. “It’s okay, you didn’t know. It’s over now.”  
“I’m just so scared, Sam. I’ve never told anyone that- I’ve only known you for three months, and you know everything there is to know about me and that just scares me so much. I’ve never felt so _exposed_ before,” you rambled.   
“It’s okay to be scared, Y/N. I get scared, too. But it’s okay. I’m always going to be here for you, I’m never going to let anything hurt you.”


End file.
